Teachinging Your Kids to Behave: On letting them decide what they want

When Fit completed his PSLE (Primary School Leaving Examination, an exam before they go to high school), which he got pretty good results (he top his school) and come to the time to decide his choice of secondary school (high school), everyone in the family are giving different inputs on which school he should choose.

Aunt A: “ xyz high school is good, they has the best rugby team in this country and teachers are good too. My dear Georgie is in secondary 3 now, he can help look after Fit. Enroll him there la.”
(I suspect  Georgie is a faggot, think he join the rugby team just to get screw by the players)

Uncle B : “ABC High had a very good reputation. Teaching methods are wonderful. I graduated from there and look, I am now a successful  lawyer. Everyone in the law community respect me. On top of that, it is a boy’s school, no distraction of girls, can definitely study better.”
(No doubt Uncle B is very successful in his career; he is also unsuccessfully not married. I believe being in a boy school had made him a faggot also.)

There are numerous more suggestions coming from various parties. My sis just smiles and says thanks for the suggestions, and she will consider. Fit, who is sitting by the side playing with his PSP is pretty nonchalant about the whole hoo-ha. When alone with Fit, sis asked him does he have any school in mind. I was with them listening to their conversation.

Fit : (nodding his head) Yup, I do have a school in mind.

Sis : So which one is it?

Fit : TTT Secondary School

Sis: I see. Why TTT?

Me (by the side thinking to myself): how come that dude chooses that school man? It is not a top school and with his results, he can definitely choose a better one

Fit : Because they have the best Art teachers there.

Me (again thinking to myself): Ah! Now I see why. This chap got potential, he starts hunting when young. I didn’t even think of bedding my Art teacher when in high school.

Fit (cont’) : And although they are not the top ranked schools, they have one of the best art results in the nation. I am keen in arts and I like to draw..

Sis : I see. Ok, we shall go register TTT tomorrow.

Fit: How about the suggestions by uncle B and aunty A?

Sis: To hell with their suggestions. It is your life, not mine, not theirs, (pointing to me) and not your 大舅. I think you are sensible enough to choose what you think is best for you. And anyway, what is the point if you are successful but behave like a faggot.

Kids can be more sensible than you realize. There comes a time when you should let go and let them decide what is best for them. Teach and guide them to make decision themselves. You will probably just need to understand why they choose this path and if it is not causing harm to others or themselves; why not let them go ahead and try it out. 

Teach Your Kids to Think

Teaching Your Kids : On being over-protective

My nephew (FatBoy) was getting ready  for his primary 5 (5^th grader) student leader camp when his grandma (my mum) fret around, concern, worried for his dear grandson first trip away from home for 3 days. She started helping him pack his backpack and the results seems like he is going to migrate to Antarctica.

My sis on seeing this, went into my room, opens my wardrobe, took out my sets of No. 4 uniform (it’s a naming convention we Singaporean gave to our army uniform) and started to pack it into my backpack.  My mum on seeing this, ask her what the hell is she doing. Sis replied “Oh, I am helping you pack so that next time when your dear grandson serve the nation (all boys at the age of 18 have to go through national service in the army for 2 years in Singapore), you can go into his training camp to take care of him. How about that?”

A kid will need to grow up eventually and being over-protective does not help in teaching them how to be independent. This might also hinder the kid process of knowing how to stand up and fight for his own rights.Sometime, learning the hard way can possibly be the right way.

Teach Your Kids Well

Teaching Your Kids to Behave : On Letting They Resolve Conflicts Themselves

It is inevitable that there are arguments among children and it is always good to let them resolve it themselves. Do not intervene if it is not getting out of hand. A few points to note:

Teach the kids and let them understand from young that it is all right to feel certain way (i.e. angry, sad, disturb, happy) but they must manage their emotion and the actions they do. Set bottom line on what is right or wrong. For example, make clear to them that it is okay to feel anger but hitting someone or verbally abusing someone is definitely not correct.

Starting from infancy (their capability to understand what you are saying can start as young as when they are a year old), try to tag an emotion/feeling to a word/description. This is to teach them to understand their own and others emotions and guide them in expressing them properly. Take for example, this is how my sis will talk to my nephew FatBoy. When he was crying for milk (think was a year old back then), my sis will tag it to the word “Hungry” and say it to my nephew. Another occasion, when he was 3 at that time , “ I can see that you are unhappy when Skinny (FatBoy's brother who was 2 at that time) take your toys without your permission, it’s the same look you see on him when you disturb him when he is sleeping, so now you understand what is the feeling of unhappiness?” Main thing is to let kids understand how they feel and how to interpret the expression they see on others.

This is not going to be easy. Let them know that the purpose of arguments is to resolve a problem. Hence name calling (i.e. bitch, stupid), verbal abusing, or worse, walloping someone is definitely not a solution. Ask them to talk about the issue that they want to resolve first and work towards the common goal of resolving it.

Back then, when my nephew, FatBoy who was 3 years old and his brother Skinny was 2, there was always argument going on. For the first few time, my sis will intervene and ask them to talk about what causes the argument. It will usually be, i.e. FatBoy play more with Thomas (no, FatBoy is not gay, it is the name of a blardy gay train a very cute train that can talk) or X-Men, how come Skinny can always sleep with Barney (wait till they grow up and sleep with real woman) etc. Sis will then ask them what they should do to resolve it. She will (for the initial few time), guide them to think of ways so that both can be happy (i.e. you sleep with Barney for an hour, I hug him for the next..etc). Next and finally, is to make them both to agree upon on the resolutions that they have come out with together and to stick to it. I know it might sound crazy to ask 2 shouting kids to talk it out and work out a solution but I had seen my sis done it before. It takes a couple of time to guide them properly and subsequently, you can sit back, on auto-pilot, and watch your kids work out and resolve their issues themselves.


Resolving conflicts and how we behave when coming across adverse situation is a social skill that is require throughout our life (i.e. arguments with parents, co-workers, bitches like Margaret intellectual verbal sparring with ex-girlfriends). Teaching kids to acquire it in the early stages of their life help them significantly in their adulthood. Kids/toddlers can be very innovative in various ways and you will be surprised on how they resolve their own conflicts.

Kids Guide On Working Out Conflicts

Teaching Your Kids to Behave : On Their Incredible Learning Capability

I was having a very bad quarrel with an ex-girlfriend

Me: Stop calling me STUPID! You bitch, I am not!

Ex-girlfriend Bitch: Idiot! I didn't say you are stupid. What I was saying is that you always misinterpret what I meant. Don't put words in my mouth ok. Stupid!

Me :  You blardy bitch! you always don't make yourself clear and expect me to know what u are thinking???!!

Ex-girlfriend Bitch: Blardy stupid! u r my boyfriend, and of course a BOYFRIEND should  expect to know what I am thinking. YOU STUPID!!!

Me : SEE BITCH! You calling me STUPID again!!! BITCH!!

Ex-girlfriend bitch: STUPID!!!

Me: BITCH!!!

Ex-girlfriend bitch: STUPID!!!

Me: BITCH!!!

*repeat for 6 times

Then I saw my 3 year old nephew (FatBoy) standing right outside my open bedroom door looking in fascination at our flowery and unheard before vocab.

Later at the family dining table, while the family were seated happily chatting and having our meal, FatBoy, while holding his bowl, shouted out to his mum, “Hey STUPID BITCH!, more rice please?”.

Kids between the ages of 1 and 3 learn things very fast. They are cognitively strong and picked up languages and actions just like a sponge absorbing the water.Whatever you teach the kids will be picked up almost immediately. Hence one should be very careful and diligently remind themselves on the words and actions they exhibit in front of them.If we want to teach them how to behave, we have to walk the talk. But hell Margaret, you are still a bitch.

We adults have to behave too!